-CHRIS aka xDS-
up late today.. was alr almost 11 bahh.. i've been pigging till pretty late these days.. dunno why lehh, just tired and wanna roll ard on my bed bahh.. anw, maple is screwed, singnet users cannot play properly, too lag, dc, the list goes on.. played around with my blog, changed some fonts, embeded a song, 说好的幸福呢.. it brought back many memories.. a song really worth listening..
emo day at home.. Dota-ed with kai, getting weak ler.. so long nvr play.. Dearie popped over while we were about to start a new round.. at least i didnt die too many times =x our dota game became like maple, gt wad piu here and S for stun.. lols.. Dearie got bored as she doesnt play dota.. and my other lappy only gt net plus maple is screwed so she just surfed the net..
ended the game almost 5 lerr.. went to bath and headed to farmway for fishing =D not bad lah today, i caught 2 snappers and a small grouper.. kor best ler, 2 snapper, 2 red snapper and 1 mangrove jack.. total 8 fishies for 3 hours.. went to the nearby elias mall to cook the grouper and mangrove jack.. pretty sumptious meal, can see Dearie is enjoying the fish.. i dunno why though.. no appetite for the whole day.. i just keep thinking of a lot of stuff in my mind.. just cant keep it clear..
haiz.. i've changed.. i'm not the old Chris anymore, not the one that is always focused on the things that hes doing on hand.. flashbacks of a lot of people around me.. how they helped me when im down yet im still like this.. i really dunno why.. i didnt smile much till Dearie asked me wads wrong.. i really dunno.. just walked away and took a puff.. Dearie seemed worried.. kor came over to talk to me.. i really dunno man.. im just stressed up.. after leaving the eating place, i was pretty emoish.. drove slowly.. Dearie was like, u ok mahh, if not i drive bahh.. i just kept quiet and drive on to bedok.. kor and gang went home lerr.. i sent Dearie to her place and took a bus home..
Dearie:~ I'm sorry, i couldnt make u happy today.. i guess im just vexed with everything that is happening around me..
at times, i really think that im not a good person.. i hate liers but at times, i myself lie to even the closest people around me.. yes, i dun wan u guys to worry about me but in fact, i wan people to care for me.. i dunno how to say it but i just wan someone to share my problems with but in turn, i dunno how to say it.. end up, noting said at all.. i tend to bottle up my fan naos and throw them aside.. i dunno how to phrase stuff these days.. can u guys help me? im really lost.. vexed..
Note to self:~
Giving up was nvr an option..
Giving in is a 100% NO..
Holding back, i think i should..
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